Speak Up

my name is cheyenne aka cody or scitz. I continuosly told myself i was not addicted to meth, i kept a physical appearence to the world i was "normal", i stayed high on a regular basis by helpin out drug dealers by helping them sell large quanities and "taking care of people." I was a junkie in my own way, i never needed to steal or prostatute myself. Whenever i came down i would get very depressed and tell myself i would never do it again. Usually less then an hour later i would be higher then i could imagine. I spent many nights/days locked in a motel room smoking leaving only to go to the nearest convinence store to retrive mountain dew a garcia vega and cigarettes or to sell more. I have seen/done many things i am ashamed of today and lost many of people i care aq greaqqt deal of to prisons, death, and pure hatred towards me. I am 20 years old and i amsixdays away from having four months clean and sober. i now have an amazing support group and i am building my relationship with my family. I have a four year old cousin who thinks i hung the moon. Everytime i see her i remind myself why im doing what im doing to stay clean. I love my life today, i hate the feeling i get when im high and nothing else in the world matters to me. Im an avid member of NA and thanks to that group i can walk through life with the support and the help i need to maintain my sobriety. Some day i want to be able to help others out there become more aware of the effects of meth and why it is such a huge thing to stay away from it. My name is cheyenne and im a recovering addict!!!!