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my month as a methhead

I don't normally do this, because I feel like my journey and my battle is mine alone. Today I am 186 days clean of methamphetamine, along with other drugs including cocaine and pills. But as meth was my drug of choice, that's my testimony. I never realized how much I hurt others and how much I lost myself in the chaos and destruction of addiction. I lay in bed at night and literally feel sick when I think of the bad I have done. I tried rehab, to no avail. When I went in, I weighed 84 pounds, my intelligence had diminished by 50% and I stayed high for three days after I got there. I stayed for 9 days and went right back to the Devil's candy. I moved states away, and 1 month I had a bus ticket right back to my hellhole of a hometown and stayed so high I lost days and weeks where I have no memory of what happened or where I was. Finally I begged my mama to bring me home. And I went. And I stayed. And I've been completely clean since that day. But for the grace of God! So to everyone out there battling addiction, you aren't lost, and you haven't lost yet. You can. You can win, overcome, overpower, and defeat that devil; your devil whatever it may be can be defeated. All you have to do is decide you've had enough and the battle is already half way won!

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