Speak Up

Him and I had been best friends since I was in elementary school. He had been in, and out of jail, but that was usual. I received letters from him while he was incarcerated, rambling on about how I was like the little sister he never had (since he came from a family of all brothers), and he couldn't wait to be out to see me again etc. Yes, he was like the older brother I never had, too. We did everything together, but as we got older, his behavior got more erratic and uncontrollable. Once I could comprehend what pot was, my dad informed me that my best friend/brother did that. I didn't think anything about that. I knew that circumstances could be worse. A lot worse. My dad remarried a few years later and we moved to a new town. Which was fine.. my dad had, had a fight with his parents and, therefore, he (and his family) were not talking to me anymore either. He married my stepmother's daughter and had 3 kids with her. You remember when I thought things could get a lot worse? This is when it all unfolds... He became very violent and abusive towards his wife AND children. He hit his wife and cracked her skull. Gave her countless black eyes and bruises. Pushed one of his kids and made him fall into the couch; which he had a black eye from it. He mentally abused his other son constantly. The police were to avail in anything. They always had his side. For everything. It was time to try to help him get clean and sober up. So he went to the state of Maine for at least 6 months, but relapsed at least 3 times within the first week he was back. Nothing helped AND he was back to his old ways. Not only using, but his violent ways as well. It was time for her to leave now, He wasn't going to change his ways. So she tried to leave, but he would just sweet-talk her into staying. Every time. He went to Maine another time and gave it another shot, but it failed again. He came back, relapsed, and got back to everything he knew. One night (after have not talking to him in a LONG time) he messaged me. He was talking really sexual... I wasn't surprised. He was always cheating on his wife. But it also stung... he was talking like that to me... was used to be so close and do everything together. Go everywhere. Always together. Together. What was wrong with him?! I got pissed! I just went to sleep before I said something I would regret. A couples nights later, he tried the same thing. I couldn't believe it! This definitely wasn't the same person.. but who was it? A few weeks later, we went to get his wife to get her cause she was SURE she wanted to leave. He was at her window and in the attempt of him trying to get her back, hearing him say that he was addicted sent me in a rage! That used to be my best friend/brother and I'm watching him throw his life away for a drug that's going to kill him! She ended up unpacking the kids, her things and staying there. One night my stepmom got a call from her daughter saying that he had stolen a computer (he was ALWAYS stealing things. Even when he was just smoking pot), tried to outrun the cops, and got stuck out at the lake. She needed to get the vehicle. My family and I went to the lake to look for it, but could never find it. The vehicle was taken by the bank (due to a loan they never paid back) and was sold at an action. They had no vehicle for the longest time and he spent some time in jail. Many more complications (not only between him and his wife) have occurred. To the present day, he's still fighting addiction and her and the kids have gotten away (and are staying away). Him and I don't talk except for when he tries to seek my attention on social media. Truth is, you don't always know what's going on behind closed doors. I thought I knew him better than this, but I have thoroughly been proven otherwise. I'm still watching him spiral downward and there is nothing I can do. I still crave that friendship I once had, but there's no getting it back.. time to fully accept it and move on.