Speak Up

meth kidnapped me. i ran away, absence made me stronger. but she still wants me. which scares me. because while under captivity she made me believe that i needed her. so there are days where i think that i do. she became my fuel to continue walking dead. silencing all cries of my loved ones. blinding the truth of who i am, what i am capable of, and what i truly deserve for myself!! it truly consumed my thoughts and feelings. meth is truly the devil, not ever once being an angel. with knowing this and having this sick bottomless hate for it you can only imagine the sick bottomless hate that builds within me for myself for romancing the drug.

I wouldn't even think twice about running away from my fate. just to have peace within myself. these nightmares, the embarrassment, my arms, my sanity, the pain, the regret among many other painful experiences that came along with the territory of "trying" this drug. changed me. almost killed me a few times. scarred me and everyone around me. this stuff doesn't AFFECT JUST YOU even people that you don't know can feel heartache seeing how stupid you look strung out on the stuff. I FEEL HEARTACHE WHEN I SEE ZOMBIES!! don't think that meth can be controlled or avoided because the consequences COME WITH THAT FIRST HIT! i hate that i can't even look at veins the same. couldn't wish this stuff on my worst enemy. and that's seriously true. i just strongly urge people that haven't done it to take heed to the warnings. don't do it. and those who fallen to it get clean. it's not worth it. i promise you it's truly not worth it.

almost 2 months clean