Speak Up

I am a long time methamphetamine addict. I am what you could call a functioning addict. This means that I have been doing some form of speed for the course of 30 years while remaining functional. I am obviously alive, computer literate, and as healthy as one can be at the age of 53. I don't agree with scare tactics on drug addiction. But if it works for someone, then who am I to say these tactics are wrong? But, obviously they did not work for me which is why I am compelled to write here. A functioning addict is one who carries on their daily life as normal people do. I pay my mortgage, own my own vehicle, and have a large-breed dog. I am by all sight and purposes like any other 50 something year old woman. The difference is I spend up to 200 a week on this crap. And this all could have been spent in other more useful areas of my life.

I do not pick at myself - creating those sores commonly called "bugs". When the stuff I do gives me a propensity to pick, I recognize this. I do not ever "forget" to pay my bills. I am clean, responsible, I vote and go do jury duty when I am called to do so. If you were to stand next to me in a checkout line you would not even think I was a" meth head".

Now for the havoc that this has created in my life. I am a felon, twice. Both times less than a quarter gram. Try being a felon and looking for a job, or trying to rent a house? I am in no way, shape or form trying to justify my meth usage. But do I wish I was not addicted every day of my life. I spend a lot of money, and time with my addiction. I stay out of relationships because of it. And in the end, I will in all probability die an early death because, let’s face it- this crap is made from some very harsh chemicals.

I started like you. I started doing drugs as a teenager. I started eventually gravitating to meth very easily. My work/ school schedule was atrocious. Every day usage is my normality. It’s the thing that makes me different from the poor souls that lose everything. I can't quit. There is nothing that can make me feel good for the day. I can only say if you are a meth user at a young age- stop. You do not want to be like me. I think my life could have played out in far better ways than this. 30 years is a long time when your 20. I have been doing this daily for over this time. If you find yourself starting to does this crap on a daily basis- then stop! You don't want to be me. Get out of it while you can. And above all- enjoy your lives without the lack of time, legal trouble, and cash restraints created by being a meth user. This comes from the heart.