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‹ Back to Gallerykicking meth the hard way
Ten years of hard meth use.. lost everything. my home my cars my kids never thought i could ever stop. the final year found me shooting it instead of smoking it. i was down to 180 pounds from 230 pounds my teeth gone.. unable to get a job i was forced to steal for a living to pay for my wife and I. We had a two hundred dollar a day habit. dirty rigs all over the house ..a house that we were seriously behind on the mortgage and taxes.. our water and power turned off at times no tv no phone are cars were junk.. my wife held down a job barely.. i was unemployable because i couldn't pass a drug test nor was i able to function without at least a gram of meth a day. life was dark and thoughts of suicide crossed my mind daily. my wife and i fought terribly mostly about money and dope. then one day she got caught with dope and sent to jail.. i bailed her out and we got high like nothing happened.. 4 days later she had her bail revoked and was jailed.. she sat in county jail for three months.
then spent nearly a year in an idaho prison. the day her bail was revoked i went home and cried my eyes out. that evening a drug addict friend showed up and handed me a pipe, i waved it away, after sleeping for a week i made up my mind that i had to quit. i looked around my house and was so disgusted at how we had been living. i had been clean for a week and felt like dying. how was i going to stop using? i visited my wife in jail and drew strength from her. i stayed clean for her if she couldn't get high i wouldn't get high. it worked and i took it day to day. i was so depressed i had to go see a doctor and get some pills.. a couple from the local church helped me through the extremely difficult task of cleaning the house and selling it i avoided foreclosure barely. eventually some time went by a month two months, i began to gain some weight back and started looking normal. i found a job at a horse stable. i moved to clean little trailer and got a decent car. I attended NA meetings and THIS REALLY HELPED
time went by and the cravings still drove me crazy but i stayed strong. I wrote to my baby every day while she was in prison and assured her I was clean. I began to write poetry online..it just poured out of me. I wrote nearly a hundred poems in less than a year.. you can read them at Algonquins Table.com I post under 899ccs. Time marched by slowly..I was lonely and exhausted but clean. Finally my wife was released and she found a good job.
I stayed at the stables for 9 months then found a better job as I was looking healthy and normal. We have a nice duplex now and two decent cars and have a few thousand dollars saved.. I cant believe it. We never fight and are fairly happy. It has been exactly one year and nine months clean for us both. We still crave it but we know we cannot ever get high again. We are doing it day to day .. it can be done.. just make up your mind and distance your selves from the people who do it ... take it day to day and go to NA
peace