Speak Up

I was addicted to meth for 5 years. The 1st time I did it I asked her will it hurt me she said no. She couldn't have been more wrong. All I thought about was my next fix and all my friends were doing it. It affected me tremendously.... I saw things or shadow people as we called them then, I got all the way down to a size 5, my breast shrank, my face looked sunken in, my hair was brittle, and I had sores all over my face. My family didn't matter to me at all, I went months witout speaking to them at all. What was worse is I didn't care as long as I could get high. All my friends at the time were doing it. They didn't even matter to me as long as we could get high. My bf was even using my car to go to dallas and get a high qty. so we could sell it.... all just to keep us high. During that time I was stopped and searched 8 times bc they didnt know i wasnt her. Back then we looked at it like we were the big dogs and were smarter than the police. What saved me? 2 things.....#1 My BF(that was on it too) became pregnant, she stopped immediately she had b straight for our bebe. She told me if u ever want to be around ur god son u have to stop. Cause she would not ever let me hold him until I was clean.... the day of his birth I was there and I went and snorted a line in the parking lot. When we were in her room she said I love uso much Manda and u are the godmother of my child, if u cant get clean for me then get clean for him and urself. Of coarse that went on deaf ears. That same day I lost my job as a waitress bc he told me he knew I was on drugs, and that he could pay me for my time, or i could take a drug test and prove him wrong. I took the money and went home and made the best decision since i had been on meth..... I gave my money to my grandma (who I live with)to pay bills.Cause my good self was in there somewhere. I was outta work for a month and all I did was sleep and eat. I was able to get sober.... but what comes with sober is all the bad things that you did. It takes some time, but I am back on track. Now I a manager at a retail store for 4 years, my family is back in my life and we are very close. It gets easier but some days its a struggle. I cut all people that did it and still do out of my life..... except my bf. Am i LUCKY???? I believe in my heart and soul I am one of the luckiest people to b alive!!!!! I am awsome today.... the days where I think about doing it are few and far between,,,,,,, you can do it, I am living proof of it. I won't say it will be easy but it is way worth it!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!! IT WILL MESS UR LIFE UP....and the struggle u have to through when u quit is NOT EVER WORTH IT!!!!