Speak Up

i started meth when i was 23 years old. i had a rough child hood and was raised a sheltered life by my grandparents. i didn't know about drugs or sex until i was just short of 14 years old. at 14 i started smoking cigerrets as i was an easy target to be peer pressured. i had graduated highschool and made a few mistakes in the following years that landed me with a felony, making it almost possible, it seemed, to get a job. one night a family friend called me and asked if i wanted a job driving a log truck, as i had my cdl license to do so. i was tired of looking for jobs and being turned down for my past record so i said sure. the owner of the truck picked my wife at the time, and me up on his way to the lumber yard and stated he would make one trip so i could learn then i would drive. about 2 hours later just befor i was going to drive i told him i was not sure i could because i had been up since early the day befor doing odd jobs and i was tired. he said he had something that would perk me right up.... BOY he wasnt lying. he cut out a line of anhidrus on a clipboard and handed me a straw.... my heart was pounding out of my chest i had never done any kind of drug in my life and had heared horror stories of the effects. he assured me it would not kill me and did some his self too. shaking i grabbed the straw and placed it at the start of the line, i prayed and then snorted. it burned my nose for what seemed like 5 min but the effect took in what seemed like seconds. my eyes were wide awake all tiredness and sleepieness went away too. i felt like i was a kid again full of energy. then i got the strong urge to smoke a cigerette, and another and another. i couldnt sit still, talked 90 miles an hour and was unknowlingly grinding my teeth like a mad man. i drove all night and all the next day into the next night befor i started comming down. i told my then boss man i needed to rest for just a while the "gas" had wore off. he said no man here have anothe it'll boost you right back up. i didnt believe him as i had been up for almost 3 days by now. snorted again and wow here we go again. i stayed awake for 5 days strait didnt eat, drank less than a 20 oz soda the entire time and had severe pain from dehydration in my kidneys. i remembering getting out of the truck to pee on my final day and for whatever reason was looking at the color of my pee, and it was dark brownish and thick as syrup. i made a decision to go home that night. i sleped only 8 or 9 hours and got up the next morning feeling normal and for the first time in 5 days hungry. i eat and drank all day long. i told my wife that i wouldnt do any more. and for about 2 weeks i didnt, i didnt feel any cravings or addictions to it it just gave me lots of energy. the owner came to a family cook out about two weeks later and asked if i wanted some, like a fool i said yes, and that is when o knew i was hooked. i went about 5 years without using ang drug after this day, then i met a man on a jobsite doing painting and maintenance and he offered me some again i took it, for the past 2 years my body feens for it at times i go weeks even months without it but the desire is always there. meth has sent me to the hospital twice for overdose tacacardic, on the verge of a heart attack, and has almost ended my marriage to my second wife. close friends and family say that i have mentaly and physicaly changed, the weightloss i like but the mental changes are crushing. i have no desire for sex, aggressive short temper, bouncing even 2 months after my last use, memory problems and the list goes on. i have had several friends locked up for manufacturing or selling meth and it is almost impossible to find it around me, eventhough i have been clean for 2 months the crave is still there. i honestly hope that i do not run across anyone that has any to sell or give away, because i love it despite what it has done to my brain, and my life. im hooked please dont ever try meth .