Speak Up

Eight months ago, I started something that would take me forever. I thought I would just try it, I grew up around it, everyone in my town did it. It seemed normal, and I was missing out. First started to lose my real friends, then my house, next be my car, last was my pride. Started slangin' pills to help out with the high, to only become miserable from the paranoia when my time would be up, and I truly hated myself inside and out. I for once in my life was lifeless, hopeless, and wanted to die. I tried to commit suicide one night, for some reason after 21 Seriquil I made it the next day. My mom noticed the changes in me obviously, I went from a dedicated beautiful girl to a dope fien runnin the streets all night and die. Hustlin' for a living. She told me one day, once you want help..I will jump through any hoop I possibly can for you..After I caught myself digging my rock bottom deeper and deeper I decided to try it out. Got into treatment before I ended up in jail, gained forty lbs..And delt with all the emotions I was burying for years. I never knew how much I really had on my plate and was carrying the world on my shoulders this entire time. Now I'm in outpatient treatment, trying to spread the word through social networks. Meth is not cool, it took my innocence. Positive wise, I've matured a lot because I had to in order to live the life I was living. I wish everyone running the streets could have gotten the help I did. Every day I have a choice, go for the craving. Get that instant gratification that will lead me back to the devils path, or follow my dreams..To be there for my family and make money the way I can appreciate it. I finally have my true smile back, I finally can laugh again. I don't think anything in the world would let me give that away again. Every day is a struggle, people tryin to bring me down. But it's sites, meetings, my sponsor, and treatment that remind me what normal really is...Sobriety. 46 days clean today.