Speak Up

i hadn't been using for too long. 8 months. everyday use. smoked and snorted, i loved it so much. it got ahold of me and made me cross my morals, it made me change so i could be with it longer. i'm 8days sober right now and i'm just starting to feel a little clear. i know i'm different now, the first time made me different i could feel it. i managed to steel from my family members to support my habit and i slept with an older man because he was giving me more. i ended up with zero amount of money left to my name. over drafted my bank accounts, it was bad. i would stay up for days before crashing for two. i can't say i'm over it, it's a long battle, i still wish i could just get one more hit and then i'll be straight. i know that's now the case but i'm starting to dream about it. the next high, the next hit, the next line, the next rush. if it was offered to me for free i would probably still say yes as of right now. everyday is a struggle and a battle. it's not fare, i wish i never picked it up. the one thing in my life i wish i could change, and i can't of course. damn the luck. living sober is harder than it seems....