Speak Up

I started when I was 33 years old and stopped using just before my 35th birthday, but only because I moved and didn't have a connection. The two things I remember the most are the paranoid feeling of being watched and the righteous anger. I was constantly looking out my window or sneaking around any window because I was sure someone was watching. My anger? Well I was always right and violent. It never occurred to me that I was addicted until two weeks after I moved and I woke up one morning with my hands shaking. I could not hold my cup of coffee. That's when I knew I was in bad shape. A month later - teeth were falling apart, literally. I would take a bite of something and a part of a tooth would break off. A year later, the paranoid feeling had subsided, but did not go away. I believe the paranoid feeling stayed with me years after I quit meth. I am now 52 years old and sometimes I wonder if the paranoid feeling is get is menopause or remnant of the meth.