Speak Up

Hello my name is Krystle.I am 20 years old.I never thought that at this age I would see my life flash before my eyes. It all started one night when I went out with a few friends to Beta nightclub. The first night I have ever tried any hardcore drugs. I tried Ecstasy. Wow....it was amazing! I had never felt anything like it before. That was a night that I didn't realize I would ever regret. After that slowly I started experimenting more with coke, ecstasy, molly...and much more than I am not aware of I am sure.That is the thing about these drugs...they are cut with so many different things...you don't know what you are actually consuming but I didnt care. It made me feel good none the less. My party and night life became more frequent as I got involved with a man who is very involved in the rave scene. I didnt realize how much of a drug problem he had until it was too late. I didn't think he would drag me in. If anything I thought I could pull him out of that life some.Truth is I got sucked in so fast. I don't know how it happened.After 6 months of dating him and I got married and I moved to Kansas to live with him. He was in the military and stationed at Fort Riley. I thought I had it made...a man with a career and thought we were going to be together forever. From the very beginning I competed with his love for drugs. I was just too blind to see it. In the beginning of our marriage we only used to just party on the weekends. Once we got a place of our own that changed. Before I get too into my story and downhill spiral...I wanted to talk about my technical "drug of choice". At one point in my addiction I tried and loved anything and everything I could get my hands on and have tried pretty much everything out there. But back to my "drug of choice"...they were called "research chemicals" better known as plant foods. With my husband being in the military we experimented with a lot of different synthetic things that don't show up on the average UA. I honestly don't know what was in them. They went by names like M1, M2, 2CI, 2CP, and the list goes on. There are psychedelics and uppers. I mostly liked the uppers. Handling grams at a time I didn't realize how deep into my addiction I was or how much I was poisoning myself. They are all chemically based and new research is showing that these are very dangerous. It caused me to even get Magnese poisoning.I was always asking him to slow down with the drugs and asked if we could go a weekend without it. It all really did scare me with how much he would push "our" limits. After awhile everything we did involved us using. Since he sold drugs we always had some on hand. One of the reasons I believe I stayed in my addiction for so long besides the fact that it took over me was I didnt want to face my own reality. I couldnt face that my husband beat me everyday and put me in the hospital and even caused me to lose a child that he didn't want in the first place...he had threatened to kill...I couldnt keep a job or stay in school...I was 80 pounds and looking deathly...he ended up getting kicked out of the military for drug possession...my entire life and my dreams were all becoming a blur. Our so called happily ever after...was starting to become more of a nightmare that I couldnt wake up from. Things got so bad that I couldn't take it anymore...I overdosed one anything and everything I could find just emptying bottle after bottle and was blacked out in minutes. I went into caridiac arrest twice. I realized not even me dying couldnt save my marriage and make him love me. I shouldnt have lived but for some reason I am still here today. After that I still struggled with my addiction for awhile but moved onto prescriptions. Landed myself in the hospital many times because I didnt want to feel anything. There's so much more I'd love to share but not enough space. It took control of me and took my life from me. Now I am sober..divorced...and I choose life! It only takes one time...its not worth it