Speak Up

I started meth when was 17 and I've only accepted meth from one person but it was one person to many. Being 120lbs at my healthiest I found myself weighing anywhere from 85 to 90lbs and it was gross to look at even though I disagreed. I felt obligated to sleep with my dealer (around 25 yrs older than me) for free meth. I could spend days even weeks awake, replacing food with hours upon hours of drawing. I went to school hgh only to see lights flash across walls and freak out because I couldn't leave one room for an hour. I thought it was my little secret but everyone knew something was wrong. I'd lay wide awake in bed at night waiting for the voices to take some kind of form and devour me. Praying that they would but they never did. This made me angry and caused me to have aggressive behavior. My mother who didn't even live with me knew that I wasn't okay. I'd spend hours rocking back and forth debatng to kill myself or others. I'd pray for overdose to no avail. I inhaled so much meth that at times my dealer wouldn't allow me to smoke anymore (Even though I begged) because he thought I would die. I pulled my hair out and waged wars against myself. Meth is a scary road that you never want to go down. It consumed me even though I said "Just once" "I'll never get addicted like that guy" It can happen to anyone with only one hit, one bump, one bang.