Speak Up

Using Meth at age 15 to me was just like any other drug, I was just trying to have a good time. A bunch of my close friends and even family had began using it- so I did not see the harm in just doing it to have a good time. Little did I know that as soon as I took a hit, I would have a new best friend, by the name of - Crystal Meth. After getting high for the first time- I immediately made up my mind, that every weekend- this was what I was going to use.. Forget the weed and alcohol that I had always chose before. Meth made me feel better than any of that did. My weekend use lasted a couple years until my senior year of high school. I began using it daily. I would be 18 soon- and then I could get high as much as I wanted. I was sick- very sick- and Crystal Meth, was my disease. The week I turned 18 I left my house for the night and never came back. I lived out of my car- staying where ever I could get high. Even places with no heat, or electric, or running water. I would spend days in a garage or a camper... where ever I could get high. I would walk for 7 hours straight, in the middle of the night- to get where I needed to be to get high.I managed to graduate High School since I only had to go for 2 hours a day, I dropped out of Cosmotology School, after almost completing the 2 years needed to graduate. On graduation day I showed up- but I had not slept in 5 days. I could hear everyone whispering about me- saying 'look at her what a crack head.' I got mad and corrected them- 'its not crack, its crank' I would say- proudly! I was sick, Crystal Meth- was my disease. I had went from 140 pounds when I turned 18, to 87 pounds on my graduation day. My dad had planned a huge graduation party for me, so the next day I went to my graduation party. Most graduation parties, your friends from school come to say there goodbyes, before going off to college. I had no friends show up for my graduation party. Just my family. I should have seen then, that my one and only friend at that point was Crystal Meth. I got a job at a local gas station, and began stealing my cigarettes so I had more money dope. Soon, that wasn't enough- so I started stealing from my mom, and other people I loved, and began stealing cash, and lottery tickets from work. After about 6 months- it had finally caught up with me, and I got arrested for 5 class D felony Theft charges. Sadly, this did nothing to me,. and I was bonded out a week later and jumped right back in where I had left off. Each time I used trying to get higher than I had ever been before. I remember sitting there getting high- breathing in as long and deep as I could- each time I took a hit.. trying to get the biggest high I could. Until each time I inhaled- everything would fade away- and I would black out. When I stood up- I would be so high my whole body would give out on me, and I would have seizures. As scary as it seems, I thought it was fun, and its what I lived for. A few years later I was in a car fire caused by a meth lab. I went to jail, and was released to go to a recovery program. They told me I had to go so I would not go to prison. I know this was Gods plan for me, because I would have never went on my own. After being there and living free from meth for 1 year. I found joy and peace in my life- that I had never had before. I laughed more than I had ever laughed before. I never thought I could be happy, without being high. And here I was. Happier than I had ever been before. I am so thankful that God reached down and pulled me out of that Hell. Crystal Meth USED to be my disease. But I have been delivered for 5 years now- Jesus set me free. I am lucky to be alive today- I was on a mission to kill myself using Crystal- but God had other plans.