Speak Up

my now ex bf broke up mainly cuz of his addiction of meth. it changed our relationship completely. when we first started dating he was this loving caring warm hearted easy going guy. but suddenly he had gotten triggered and started doing it every time he had a problem. he became angry and paranoid. he would accuse me of things i never did or said. he was controlling and possessive. i couldnt even go to work cuz he would think i was spending my time with another man. even when i went out, if i didnt pick up the phone he would flip out. when i went out with my girlfriends, he would force me to talk to him until he felt comfortable that i wasnt lying about what i was doing or who i was with. i wasnt allowed to have any guy friends. it got to a point where i was miserable and i couldnt understand his addiction anymore. he was hurting me emotionally and i would cry everyday. i would explain to him what he was doing to me. then he would be nice, then later he would change and turn into the devil. i had told him that he needed to quit. he even started selling, then started robing people he knew, and it grew from there. i gave him a ultimatum to go to rehab. i told him if he doesnt get better then i would have to leave him. one day i did. and he said he loved me very much and couldnt accept that i was gone. but he had a hard time changing and blamed me for his life going down hill. he started to stalk me. i even had to block his phone and the 20 other numbers he would call me on. he would write me emails about how much he loved me. then he would get angry later and tell me how im a whore and disrespect me and say all these things im not and things i have never did. i miss him soo much, and 2 months later i wish that this never happened to him. i still continue to talk to him in hopes that he will change. i research online all the time the personalities of meth just so i can have a understanding so when we talk i can watch what i say so we dont fight. he had a 3.9 grade point average in college. 1 semester away from being a accountant. 3 semesters he tried and dropped out. and now cuz of drugs hes living in random tellies kicken it with tweekers and whores, and still begging me to take him back. i believe this man was my soul mate, i believe that if he never took drugs that he was the perfect person for me. and i miss him soo soo much. he promises to go to rehab and try again for me. but i dont believe him cuz he lies a lot now. im hurting cuz of him even when we arent together. and hes hurting and suffering cuz of drugs. his life is gone and all i can do is sit there and watch him disappear... he has to learn how to change for himself