Speak Up

This is just a short summarization of where meth got me and others in life. This year I will be four years clean, I would be 9 years clean but I stumbled 4 years ago. I have used since I was 14 I am now 47, I used continuously for 29 years, and I will always be a recovering addict. I wanted to blame everyone else for my addiction, I was sexually abused from 5 years old up until I was 12. All women, one guy. I would not admit this to anyone because of the shame I felt. The guilt I felt for becoming a victim was overwhelming. I worked out, I became an intimidating figure. I was not going to get hurt anymore. Little did I know I was hurting myself. I held friends and others in my arms as they laid dying of overdoses, rummaging through their pockets for drugs, money or both, anything to get high. I had more than 10 overdoses and was totally upset each time I found out that I was still alive. I struggled in wondering why I did not die but most of my friends did. I am now taking three different anti-depressents, anxiety medication, and ADD medicine, My back teeth are gone, my front teeth are not much better. My mental state is a mess, I have come a long way with therapy and medication but meth took a lot of the person I should be away from me. This is just a small part of my life story, all I can ask is do not make it part of yours. Meth is poison..literally. Coke, Red, Ice, Crack etc. affects every aspect of your life. Sleep deprivation, anger issues, suicidal issues, etc. If you have had events in your life that you are afraid to admit to anyone, please find someone to talk to. Than find a professional that can help you. Having someone that is close to you, cares for you and will love you unconditionally will help through your walk into wellness. Just do not self-medicate or if you live, you will be on medication for the rest of your life. If you are having trouble with it now, seek help before you get too far in. Holding your childhood friend and having to close their eyes so they won't look at you after they die is something I would not want anyone else to go through.