Speak Up

"I'm not gonna do it with you, I'm not gonna watch you ruin your life like the rest of us". "I don't give a f***, this is my life and I'm gonna ruin it if I want to." Thats what i said, I was 13 years old when I started. In a way I always new I was gonna be a tweaker, because of my family's drug history, and them dealing. I was already moved out and on my own, smoking pot regularly, not caring, and only living in the moment so what the hell, right? So I took that pipe, and took my first hit. That was the day I started the life long battle that is drug addiction. All it took was two weeks, just two weeks and that's when I just couldn't go without it. Since my family dealt it, it was highly available, so I didn't need money, just a phone to call them up. I didn't notice how skinny I was getting, on good days where i was only up for like two days i was 90 lbs and on bad days where I would go like more than that without eating i was 80 lbs. I lost all of fat and alot of my muscles within just a few months. I got holes in my teeth and some of my teeth were breaking. I didn't care though, I didn't care about anything that wasn't drugs, money, sex, and cigarettes. I didn't go now where because I didn't want to miss it if someone got some dope. The only thing I needed was that next bowl to feel okay, or atleast thats how it felt. My life and my drug addiction spiraled out of control, I stopped going to school, I wouldn't even get out of bed most the time. I needed a bowl to even get up to take a shower. I was living with my boyfriend and his family because I didn't have anywhere else to stay, because my family was to caught up in their own life to care about where I was living, I didnt't mind though. After about six months of use our house got raided and everyone either went to jail or foster care. Including me. I would have never gotten clean if this didn't happen, because I didn't want to. I loved the stuff. But i have been in foster care for 87 days and thats how long I have been clean. I'm not gonna lie, it's so hard and I do have my days where I want to use so bad but I have to think of the consquences. I am currently in drug treatment and trying despretly to maintain sobriety and I hope i have the strenth to do so. My life has changed so much though, and it seems like I'm triggered by everything. Drug addiction is a life long battle. It might seem like the right choice at the moment, but this is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, So please think before you make the same mistake I did.