Speak Up

When I first started using meth i was 18 years old, and had just been kicked out of my parents house. The girl i was living with woke me up at 6 in the morning because she wanted to talk to me, i assumed she was going to ask when i would be finding a more permanent living situation, instead she pulls out a glass pipe. I have never been one to say no to much of anything, I'd always try something at least once... I smoked meth that morning, not even knowing what it was. i made the mistake of not asking any questions and taking those hits, and it messed me up. I was addicted for about 4 months, the span of time that i lived with the people that introduced me to that monster. I am 19 now and almost 5 months clean. I am here to tell you that Meth is a Hell you will never escape. i have triggers, many of them, that trigger my urges to smoke meth. smells, tastes, moods, things i encounter on a daily basis that make me crave the monster. sometimes i even wake up wanting it, i have begged for it since, to no avail but i stooped that low, to beg for an addiction. You can never escape meth, you can never escape the hell it puts your mind and body through. you can never escape the anger that comes over you when you are coming down after 4 days of soaring above cloud 9. Sometimes, even when you've stabbed your husband in the neck with glass in front of your baby, you still can not escape meth. Even than you are at your worst, you run to it to pick you right back up. Meth does things to you, terrible things, things that you can never take back. Is that who you want to be? A slave to the monster that has you trapped in hell? Meth is not cool, Meth is not fun. Meth is not something you can control. Meth controls you.