Speak Up

Well it has been along time since i had to tell my story ,but this will be a short version do the character limit . Here we go I am 18 now i was 11 well the picture that i had painted in my head of the person i called my father would change. At the age of 11 i found out that my father was letting my step mom's brother cook meth down in our basement while we were home and away helping my father in Oklahoma city which was an hour from Tulsa Oklahoma. At the age of 12 by now we lose the house that we were living in and were staying out at my step mom's parents house .While living at her parents house i would come to find out that her brother was also cooking out at my step mom's parents house,and the thing that i would find out later is that everyone that was living out there at this time knew of this . My brother and me were the only two that had no clue what was going on. At the age of 13 we had moved out of my step mom's parent house, but we didnt stay gone to long. We moved back less then 2 months of moving out . When we got back out there they didnt have enough room to let us live in the house so my brother ,father ,step mom and me all lived in a camper. To paint a picture of how this was i slept on a couch that fold out into a bed my brother slept on a table that dropped down and you use the seats to make a bed. While my father and step mom slept in a queen size bed .This is were i figured out that my father was doing meth .My brother and me came home one day from school to find that we couldnt get into are camper to chill and do homework . So because of this we when to my step mom's parent house that was less then 30 yards in front of the camper . We walked into the house and asked why we could go into the camper . I dont remember who told me but they said that my step mom's brother was in there and i knew what he was doing do to the fact of learning earlier that year that he was cooking and doing meth . I bet you are wondering how i found out my dad was doing meth. Well here is your answer he was in the camper my step mom's brother was cooking meth .I put two and two together. I am going to skip a year when i was 14 we finally got out of my step mom's parents house and were now living back in Tulsa . I awoke one night to see a layer of smoke in my house while the smoke detector was going on and trying to breathe i found my way to the living room were my step sister and her boyfriend slept i asked what was going on was a small fire had started down stair where the meth was cooking . Now my dad said that Rich my step mom's brother SAVED US ...bullshit ... While living in the house i would every couple of weeks find a jar that had a blue liquid that sometime had crystals in it . I am still 14 it is the summer before i turn 15 and i came back from see my mom and over the summer asked to move away.Dad wasnt happy and i started a fight between him and my step mom and they got kick out of my step mom's parents house . We when to stay with my aunt's ex husbands house and my step mom just hated me at this time.At this time my dad and step mom where broken up and he said he would never go back ,but he did and i got so angry and i told him it was me or her .Well he said that i could leave.This is when i disowned my father.Before i left i asked my father if he did meth he sadly said YES ..Do to my childhood i would come to confront issue of cutting ,trying to kill myself,drinking ,and drugs(not meth). I am 18 now and yes i still have those problems,but im doing a lot better an couple years ago. I fight them everyday of my life ,but i cant change them so i will use them and my past to make me a better person .I WILL BE THE MAN TO MY CHILDREN THAT MY FATHER NEVER WAS (when i have kids).Meth isnt something to even try once .Thanks for reading if you would like more of my story or just someone to listen to what you have to say email me at jfpandaman93@hotmail.com.....Thanks i needed this