Speak Up

In high school I had everything going for me. I was in speech and debate and had a chance to go to nationals; I was 5 credits shy of graduating. I started using Meth when I was 17. At first it was a "weekend" thing. I would use and party all weekend, and then go to work and school during the week. Then one night it all changed. I went to this party, (actually a dope house), met a guy who was 27, ten yrs older than me, and fell in love. He promised me everything, and then I got pregnant. We robbed this place and ran away to Barstow, California, that was one of the worst mistakes I ever made. He told me we would get clean and start a new life out there. Within 2 weeks of being there, I was using again. I went to my doctor’s appointment and when they did the ultrasound there was no baby - I did so much dope I killed my baby. That's when I got much worse; I started slamming dope with people I barely knew. My ex tried to kill me on several occasions - once he was going to cut my head off, another time he ducted taped me. We started to manufacture it, and of course got raided. I am so grateful for that day. I remember I looked in the mirror and saw a young 18 year old girl, who looked like a holocaust survivor. I weighed 95lbs., and was close to dying. I went to jail, got out, relapsed, and went back to jail. This went on till I got into treatment center. I have almost four years clean, and I am SO, SO grateful. Today I am married to a wonderful MAN, and we have 2 beautiful healthy Meth free children. I don't regret the path I took, I just wish I would have made better choices, but I have definitely grown and am a strong woman today.