Speak Up

May 25, 2013 was the best night of my life. I went on a date with the woman I had a crush on since high school. She was honest and told me her addiction to meth, she told me she wasnt using at the time and was on probation. At the time I honestly didn't know what meth really was. I knew it was a drug, but didn't completely understand the addiction and the affects it has on a person. I did not learn this until months and months down the road. I have always been one to not judge someone by their past. I was always understanding and told her that I loved her for who she was now. Fast forward to November 2013, when I found out she was using again. This broke my heart. I found out the hard way. I caught her, and yet she continued to deny it, but I could see her losing weight, her change in attitude, she wasnt the sweet girl I met the first night we went out. One night, I was hanging out with some old friends, they took me to this hotel room (the same one where she used to stay for about 3 weeks) and I saw this guy smoking from a pipe. And I sat there I thought "maybe if I started using, my girlfriend would love me more and we could use together." At the time, my girlfriend wasn't speaking to me (we went through a lot of break ups and make ups, due to her usage) So I sent her a text message "so I just tried meth for the first time, and I think I like it", she immediately text me back and asked me where I was. She came within like 5 minutes and took me to the restroom and shot me up. I experimented 2 more times with it, but knew it wasn't for me, and couldn't understand how she loved it so much. I didn't like the way it made me feel, staying awake for 3 days wasnt fun, not wanting to eat, and coming down. That was one of the worst feelings in the world. To make a long story short, we continued our relationship, we lasted about 11 months. It was rough, I can honestly say that I could never wish that on my worse enemy. Falling in love with a meth addict was not something I wanted, but I thought maybe our love could be enough. All the cheating, the lies, the physical violence, the emotional and mental hardships I endured were rough. I had to sit back and watch my girlfriend literally rip apart her life. She was in and out of jail, and running from her probation. It was a horrible 11 months for both of us. Until she took a deal, it was either jail time or rehab. She of course chose rehab. And that's where our love story ended. She is now in a halfway house located in Prescott, and is doing fine. I'm still healing from the crazy ride we had. But I do still keep in contact with her. She's doing fine. And I'm doing fine as well. We're both on the road to a clean and sober life. I of course will always love her, but after the things I've seen, heard and felt...I will never be able to be with her again. Bitter sweet ending. I always told her "you deserve the best", and I know right now in her life, shes getting that. I hope and pray she will continue to make the right choices in her life. -T