Speak Up

My mom was my best friend, I told her everything and she was the only one in my family that I truly had and knew me 100%. My mom has always had problems with addiction but she got better and was doing so good for so long and then everything just went to hell. My mom met a guy who was badly addicted to Meth, he was a dealer and just a troubled guy and she wanted to get him help at first and she was trying to do the right thing, well that was what she told me. I noticed her being gone a lot more and I was worried she was with bad people who weren't good for her. She was. Everything went to hell about a month after she met him, she would be up all night walking around, she would rip our walls apart because she thought there were bugs inside them. She literally tore a hole through our house with a knife because she was seeing bugs. She became this evil, dark and angry person. She would constantly yell at everyone and she would be paranoid that me or my step dad had taken her cell phone or her purse, she would rip the house apart looking for certain things like her keys or phone. She was going crazy. I never felt safe with her, I was scared of her and the people she was hanging out with. I would beg her everyday to just stop, I knew what she was doing and she knew that I did and she would promise me everytime that she would stop and she was done but it was never the truth. She turned so mean and awful, she would scream at me to kill myself and she would call me horrible names and for some reason she just took out all her anger on me, I think it was because I was the only one who truly knew what she was doing. Finally my step dad starting taking action, he went to the police because he wanted to take my baby brother and sister away from her. That was when it was really bad, she went from being a beautiful curvy girl to nothing. Her face was sunken in and she had just faded away, nothing about her was the same. I left and I'm living with my boyfriend, I lost my mom, my best friend to Meth. It is the most awful thing out there, it ruins lives. My life will never be the same, I don't have my mom anymore, I don't have my family, I hardly see my baby brother and sister because I can't be around her without visualizing her ripping our walls down and picking at everything and even her skin! My life was ruined by Meth and I wasn't even the one that was doing it. I feel helpless without my mom, she says she's better but I will never be able to trust her. I hope if anyone that has taken the time to read this will realize that it's horrible and it truly hurts the ones you love.