Speak Up

I was 17 when i tried meth for the first time. I don't know what persuaded me to do meth for the first time. I guess I was so curious and thought it'll be different for me, like everyone does. I went from snorting tiny lines for a week or so to smoking it off tin foil, to smoking out of a meth pipe. It happened very fast, if you're already doing the drug, might as well smoke it right? It didn't take long for me to fall into meth's tight grasp, the first time I smoked it for real we smoked at least 5 bowls. I had a terrible cough, hacking up yellow chunks. My mouth was all bitten up, my tongue had a layer of white skin on it, from me biting it so much. I had bruises all over, I lost 10 pounds in two days. The longest I ever stayed up was 4 days, you hallucinate. I was at school, multiple times in the day I heard my name being whispered, no one was there. Dont forget the shadow people, they show up after you stay up for two days. Here I am, a couple weeks later and my best friend for 10 years is still using, I have to cut him out of my life. He's an addict, his personality has changed, he's a different person. I dont care what anyone says, you can't control meth. Meth controls you, the false sense of "everything's ok" will be along side of you, you won't even notice you're slipping. Luckily, I grabbed hold of myself. After waiting 5 hours trying to score some crystal while I was coming down, I realized I didn't want it. Its a terrible poison, it changes you so quickly. I got scared, seeing my best friend with a sunken in face, losing weight rapidly, hair falling out, I realized; wow. I dont want this, I want a happy, not artificial life. That's all meth is, artificial everything. I dont care anymore how good the high is, I dont want to be high anymore. After that day of waiting and waiting something snapped inside of me. I ditched the people I was waiting with, and went to hang out with some friends that don't use. I felt ecstatic, I turned it down completely. Since that day I haven't gone back, and the crazy thing is, seeing this happen to my best friend honestly made me lose all desire and craving for crystal. I used to long for the taste, the smoke clouds. But now, thinking of the taste makes me sick, the way it smells, everything about it. Dont forget, you'll smell horrible like urine while high, the last day I was on it my boyfriend said he smelled it on me right when he saw me. Your jaw will ache, your mouth dries out. Oh, and the comedown. I have never felt so terrible in my life, sick doesn't even cover it. Everything hurts, your dopamine's low, you can't think, all you can think about is how.you wanna get high again. Okay, so maybe my story is not so severe, no I was never a full blown addict. But here I am, just hoping I can get through to someone out there; meth is not even close to worth it. If you wanna lose yourself completely, destroy your life, lose everything you have, and be miserable, then choose meth. Please listen when I say nothing is worth doing meth over, if you're ever questioning whether you should or not, beat it in your head: meth = death. No, you won't die immediately from using, but it kills everything around you, including the person you were before trying it. It changes you forever. I'm grateful that I lost my will to do it at all, because I'm one of the lucky ones. My best friend is gone forever, and there's nothing I can do about it. I hope someone reads this, meth is not worth your life. Stay safe everyone, thank you for listening. ~Josie