Speak Up

I'm addicted to crystal meth, I'm scared and thinking of death. I sit alone in my house day after dreadful day. I swear I wanna change, but every time I stop using, I come right back to it, in only 3 or 4 days. I get so nervous and anxious when I'm sober. I didn't used to feel this way. I'm a roller-coaster of emotion, with no control of how I feel. like waves of an ocean, its never the same, changing every second of each minute every single day. Oh God I don't wanna die this way! I also drink lots of whiskey about a pint or more each day. I feel sad enough to cry, angry enough to die, but I keep it to myself heartbroken every-time, feeling so empty down inside, wanting to stop cause I can't keep living this lie. Just threw the loaded pipe away, as far over the street as I could aim, I threw it cause I would do it if it stayed, heart beating so strange, trying not to die today. Just praying not to feel this way.

I didn't know what it was, the first time I took a puff, I didn't think that was buzzed. Now its been about a decade plus, if I would've known I'd never have touched this stuff.

I don't know how to change, hoped to be wiser at this age, tired of giving in losing the battle being waged, the enemy is infiltrated into my life I'm afraid, promising myself but to myself I have betrayed. Gotta find the way, gotta escape from this cage.
If you read these words, know that for you I do pray, may you find your way, for me please pray the same, for me as well as you to FINALLY BE SAVED. I Love so much I hope to Love from the grave.