Speak Up

Using crystal meth is the worst thing I have ever done, and continues to haunt me today, even with two years clean. I started using meth about five years ago, and I immediately got hooked. It didn't seem like a big deal at first, but the high lasted so long, I just ran with it. A man I had met ended up feeding me dope for a few days, and after that I couldn't stop. I had dropped down in weight, from 110 lbs, to about 92 lbs, and even reached 87 lbs at one point. I immediately began to hear voices the longer I stayed awake, and malnourished myself. The voices began to get worse, and I spiraled downward quickly. The years following that first hit were nothing but going in and out of jail, and rehabilitation centers; growing farther apart from my family, and friends, even to the point of my father calling the police on me, and filing a restraining order. I have been in a car accident, at my fault, severely injuring a young lady on her way to work. Passing out at stop lights, falling asleep with a torch lit in the house, talking to my car headlight in a blackout, talking to bushes, walking for days, walking for nights, sleeping from car to car, house to house, stealing, lying, breaking into cars, breaking into homes, being put in awkward situations with strange men, being raped, in fear of disease, not able to speak properly to people, not able to be a normal, functioning member of society. The one thing meth has lead me to, the one thing I regret most, is the involvement in severe crime, that most people would not get involved with. Very criminal behaviors, with very criminal people. If you knew me before meth, and if you know me now, you would never think that I would do, or have done some of the things that happened. It is all for the drug. It is all consuming, and destroys life. The one thing I am grateful for, is the experience; is what I have learned; is for the chance to start again, re-gain my life back, and strive for the one I wish to attain. With two years clean, I still am hearing very distinct voices, 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I still see shadows on occasion, and sometimes mistake one thing for another, because my mind is damaged from meth use. My jaw is out of sorts, and I have TMJ. It moves back and forth when I talk, especially if I drink a caffeinated beverage. Anyway, this is all I will say. Thank you for working against this horrible drug, and for getting this info out in the open.