Speak Up

A lot of people think that I should share my story...I want to be able to help children so they know the effects meth has on your life. I am 30 yrs old I have been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and Dysthymia through a psychiatrist but before I went to the doctor I didn't know how to deal with my depression. In March 2008 I left my husband of 4 yrs. he never worked the last 2 yrs I supported 7 people alone by myself, that includes my 2 beautiful children. I left I took my children and wanted to start over and be the best mom ever. But I ended up in May of 08 dating this guy I knew was bad news. I worked as a Secretary at a Heavy Equipment office good job weekends off. Well I got laid off my ex husband got my children bc due to my son being in pre-k through a daycare. they had no buses and since I gave my vehicle back bc I could make the payment he ended up getting my children. Before I knew it I was doing cocaine. Found a new job in a doctor office but my ex husband wouldn't let me have my children back he knew I was up to something. Still working at the doctors office hung over bc of drinking and cocaine. I really liked my job until I lost it bc I was a no call no show bc I couldn't get out of the bed to go in. Before I knew it there was Meth....a friend brought it over for my bday. My ex husband hid my children for 3 months bc I threatened to take them. He then threw a TPO on me had me arrested. 3 hrs after receiving it using someone else cell saying I text him which I didn't. That threw me in a deeper depression and meth was my best friend. My boyfriend at the time decided to quit his job and make meth full time...Wow awesome meth anytime I wanted it and I dated the dope boy how could life get any better. It didn't, it got worse. on probation for 2 yrs going to check in high as all get out praying they didn't drug screen me. Around Dec 09 the drug task force busted in my home they found a bottle that he had made meth in but didn't arrest us maybe bc they didn't actually have a search warrant and I let them search. The whole time I had pills and drugs between my legs that my boyfriend threw at me as he was opening the door needless to say not done where I wanted. As they are in my home he calls his dad just in case nvr once said anything about me said bc I was on probation. Should of been a clue right?! They told him next time your face will be in the dirt and if you put your hands on her again your face will be in the dirt. He hit me constantly or accused me of cheating. A few days before the new year I left a old boyfriend picked me up. Somehow my boyfriend at the time found out where I was I got scared and went back. Him and a friend was trying to find out where his house was, he had a gun too. That night December 31, 2009 he looked me in my eyes and said if you ever hurt me again or leave I'll kill you looked dead serious too. Finally after a number of calls from my sister and a informat on April 30, 2010 my life changed forever my boyfriend left for town begged me to go but I needed sleep so I stayed. at 9:30ish am I had a bang on my door phone ringing it was my boyfriend so thought it was him at the door. I answered the door instead of the phone wasn't my boyfriend it was the DTF wanting to search this time with a search warrant. I was arrested for manufacturing meth 2 sale charges and possession. The guy well he was on the run for about a week and he turned himself in to get back out 3 weeks later and get arrested two more times before finally getting stuck in jail. I was still on probation so I wasn't going any where. I was arrested April 30, 2010 I was released April 5, 2011 with 5 yrs probation a fine and had to complete treatment. I got stuck with only the possession charge bc the gut took all my charges but that one bc I was the only one home. He got 15 yrs total....but I am proud to say April 29, 2010 was the last and final time I have ever touched meth.