Speak Up

I will start this dialogue by saying that in the holidays, we all have issues...It's not an easy thing dealing with our families, or just people in general, and this time of year was very difficult for me, especially with an addiction. All I can say is that it will get better. Maybe not today, but soon. Fifteen years of an addiction, and fifteen years clean now. That said, it won't all be smooth sailing.

When I was in the life, I never thought it would be any different...Always up, always tweaking, always slinging....I never thought I would have anything of my own...no REAL friends, no home, nothing like that at all. Sleeping in my Dodge Colt, below freezing, sponge baths in a McDonalds bathroom....soup kitchens just to get something to eat (when I wasn't tweaking so hard they wouldn't let me in)....

The reason I'm writing this now is because I lost someone close to me and I wanted to tell her that I'm sorry...for everything. I wasn't very good at telling people that I loved them and now it's too late for that one person...and for all the other people that I've hurt, sorry isn't enough.

As I get older and my friends of 30+ years are dying, I can only hope that the message reaches maybe one or two of you younger ones....good things can happen, it's not too late for you like it is for so many others...Reach out...make a difference....

It's not too late...until it IS too late...

Jeff the Red