Speak Up

My dad used to do meth when i was younger, around the time when i was about 7 years old. When I was younger i didnt really understand what this drug was. i just remember hearing my mom and siblings talk about it. About a year later my older sister moved away because she was sick of seeing my dad on drugs all the time. It really effected my dad he looked horrible and we didnt have money to pay our rent. We moved into an apartment after my sister left. It was just me, my older brother, and my mom and dad who were both meth users. As i said before i was very young but i do remember my parents staying up all night and i would be crying in the hallway because i just wanted my mom to lay down with me. I also remember things getting very violent as in my dad hitting my mom. Things were just getting worse so our family moved to south carolina in hopes of having a better life. For 10 years things were really great. my parents didnt do drugs we got a house my dad got a job everything was fine. Except this past year one of my dad's friends came to visit and offered my dad meth again. He did it and got hooked again. He does it about 4 times a week now. And most times my mom also does it with him. This year has been horrible. My mom and dad have gotten into physical fights many times this years and my mom has tried to leave but she always comes back. I think my dad is gone to the monster that is meth. He has been saying he's going to stop for the past 3 months but has not shown any progress. He has even gotten so mad at me that he has hit me, once he even accused me of taking his drugs from him. It's very sad to see and live with. Also i keep telling my mom to leave because if she doesnt get high with him he'll be very mean to her and make her feel like crap, and she tells me that's part of the reason why she keeps doing it. My mom isnt the type to go out and buy the drugs, but she does it because my dad brings it home. My mom left a couple months ago for about 3 weeks and she was clean and very happy. I keep telling my mom to leave but she's scared because she wont have any money or a car. I've told her i will help her because I'm 18 and i know i can help. Also i feel like i already lost my dad but i think i can still save my mom. I may be 18 but i do still need my mom. I love her when she is sober but when shes high she looks like the devil and i cant stand to be around her. Also these past couple of weeks my mom has been doing it less and less with my dad and she actually says no most of the time. But just these past couple of days she's fallen and has started doing it more. I feel like if my mom doesn't leave soon she'll surrender to the meth and i wont be able to help any more. I still have a little piece of hope left that maybe if my parents split up they will be happier because they have told me that they make each other want to use more. I hope in a year my parents are off meth because it has destroyed my parents, me, and my entire family. Meth is a monster; it is the devil. I hate everything about it.