Speak Up

My name is Angelica P. I go by Angel for short, I have three kids Madison 7yrs, Azeric 5yrs, and Lyric 3yrs, I am an addict, I have been addicted to Meth, since I was 13yrs old... I started out with smoking weed an drinking, I was always a very out going person I had to be the center of attention, I was not considered one of the Lame kids in school, I was popular an pretty, had plenty of friends that's when I believed they were real, I hung out with older kids that liked to get high, an before I knew it I liked it to, Theirs so much I wish I could tell you about my life back then, but it ended so fast, my mother was addicted to crack, she was always gone she always left me an my baby sisters alone, at home for God knows how long I took care of my sisters they were 7 an 2... My mom's friends would always come by the house to wait on her an get high... I was getting to be a pre teen an I was bad as hell an curious well i would always hang with her friends they were cool as hell to me because they let me smoke cuss an do what I want, One day one of my mom's friends came to the house mama was MIA as usual, well will call her Beth, Beth was the s*** to me, so we are standing in the bathroom talking ... Well she looks at me in the mirror an our eyes meet, she says you wanna try this an holds up a pipe, bowl, whatever you wanna call it, my eyes got big not cause i was scared but because I wanted to do it , That's when i got high for the first time off Meth, If think that's where it ended your very wrong, I wish i had only new what I was about to turn into... If I could tell you Anything That may have been worth the Life I chose back then would be this You cant cover bullet wounds with band aids an you cant run forever I was young an I found away to numb the pain, for a short time but in the end it added up don't let your problems an ur past define you, you can only be a victim for so long then you become the fool... And believe me she ain't cool.... I have been in and out of rehab programs since i was 18yrs old, what you once thought was of ends up being a habit you cant afford an cant control... I lost myself an im still tying to find me... I cheated myself out of so much Its no ones fault but my own, we make our own choices an we pay for them as well......