Speak Up

There's not a day that goes by where i don't regret that first hit of Crystal Meth which soon would lead me on a dark pure evil path of fear and demons. Growing up i was your typical jock with the addiction of basketball and sports I had a dream of being someone important in the world and one day playing in the NBA. in the 8th grade i was ranked 64th best player in the Country so everyone saw all the potential i had coming into high school I grew up in a very strict family with my dad. The closer my 18 birthday came the farther my dream got pushed away I wanted to move out and into my moms house too experience what ever other teenager was going threw which was the phase of partying and drinking. And before you knew it my 18th birthday came and i moved out I meant a girl while i was partying which soon became my girlfriend for the next year she was everything and more to me but had a lot of issues but i was too blind. A year later we broke up and she got an apartment I then later found out that she was using meth and bragging to me about staying up for days at a time and always being happy. Hearing her admit that she was using meth absolutely destroyed me Where i was at a point where i didn't want anything to do with her I swear to god i was a second away from never talking to her again which now looking back on i wish i had the strength to do so knowing what i would then put my self threw. Her roommate moved out because meth destroyed her to the point where she was hallucination things in her head that only she believed so she ruined there friendship over these things. And whats funny about that was i always thought she was the dumb one for doing that and that she was just overreacting about the drug but little did i know lolol she was actually the smart one. And before you knew it i was over at my ex apartment ever single night being pure pressure into smoking this stuff that seemed harmless.once i took that First hit I feel in LOVE with it right away I can easily say I got addicted the first hit i took and trust me I SWEAR TO GOD BY THAT. everything was a million times more better to me when i was high me and my ex had the most fun together then we ever did when i first took that hit. soon after that it took me on a 6 month road of pure hell and destructiveness. I went from smoking it twice a week to ever hour of the day in a matter of two months. I thought that she still looked great on it and still functions like a normal person so maybe i can? BULLSHIT! this stuff tore threw me i lost 30 pounds in 6 months I would stay up threw days straight barley eating anything to the point where i couldn't even get off the couch without taking a hit too feel normal. But the worse was when i would comedown depressed out of my mind I would sit and stare in one place for hours cutting my arm until i bleed begging god too take me away from all this pain I was feeling. I got so paranoid that i would sleep and take a knife with me too take out the trash because i thought people where going jump me. This drug changed me into a completely different person literally . One night i smoked a little too much where i think i OD. i stood in one place for 2 hours straight looking at my ex because i thought her and her Friend where hooking up and having conversations right in front of my face. And my mind made me think they where saying stuff about it. they said i competently hallucinated the whole thing also i thought that they where sneaking boys behind my back into the closets with a knife, So i would look threw every single closet thinking i would find something I mean could this drug trick your brain that bad? Anyways i have a lot of stories of how bad this drug tore me up just 6 months of using every single day I abused it. Trust me THIS DRUG IS NO JOKE. I am now 22 days clean and sober not taking anything for granted because i know how it is too be at your lowest. if need help or have advice email me at nba2k1320@yahoo.com thank you