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Dear jon

People can tell you you won't get addicted, but you will. it's absolutely certain. After the night i relapsed, meth became my life. I started when i was 13, and was on and off of it for two years. the third year, was when the word sober disgusted me. I lost sight of everything else. I sold my body for what i needed. i needed drugs, no if's, and's, or but's about it. It was just a temporary fix for the pain and anxiety i built up for so long. I have never had sex sober. And i have had sex too many times to count.It's always been for meth. I lost count of how many times I had sex with Jon for drugs. I am 16 years old now, he is 38 years old and i was 15 when he asked me to move in with him. He is in a gang and for some "odd" reason i didn't give a s***, My body became so tolerant that I quit smoking it after a while, I bought a box of a hundred needles and it was gone in a few weeks because Jon gave me so much dope all the time & the fact that i would rob people blind. Jon started buying me boxes of needles & i went through three boxes, one hundred needles each box from December to March. I quit feening because Jon was my dealer & always always always had dope. It wasn't a problem anymore. I was high for so long and so much that i would stay up for a week, a week and a half at a time with about 20 or 30 minutes altogether of nodding out. I was shooting up so much a day that I would constantly be sweating, dizzy, and blacking out. Jon wanted me to shut my phone off and I hid from my family, i went home like twice a month maybe? Even then, it was only for food, electronics, and money that i stole. My hallucinations were getting so bad, i lost touch with reality. i swear i saw the devil a few times. I heard sirens & whispering constantly.There were at least two or three times, that right after i shot up I passed out and woke up a couple hours later. I was so focused on getting that "rush" nothing else was important. Jon started making conditions with me, cause he was getting bored with me, i guess. I had to get other girls shoot up and get horny so they would have sex with him. Which, by the way is how he got me to have sex with him all the time. That's the only time i agreed to have sex anyway. I ended up convincing a handful of girls at all different time periods to shoot up & have sex with him. All the girls were 15, 16, 17, 18, & 19. And he was 38 Years old. I had no conscience anymore. i was ruthless... A 16 year old, evil? yeah, it's completely possible with meth. I went to the High School i dropped out of, everyday after school and got customers for Jon so he would give me dope. I was staying up so long by this time, i was nodding out everywhere: Riding a bike, on the computer, in the shower, even during sex and i had tons and tons of tracks everywhere. And there even were times i woke up and had no clue how i got to the place or thing i was doing. I've woken up having sex, shooting up.. you name it. I gave up on God, I believed in the devil and that was it. The way i thought was, God left me when i needed help, when really, I turned away from God and gave into my sins. The easy road. I became addicted so easily, it was no joke, like the blink of an eye. Like, before i knew it I was sleeping around for drugs when just a little while ago, i was going to teenage parties and being social. I thank God today, that I'm still alive & i have no blood diseases or STD's. And that my family has forgiven me. I am three months and one week sober today. I want to share my story because i want people to know the serious dangers and consequences that will come from it. It's not worth your family, yourself, and your life. I know the saying "learn from someone else's mistakes" is easy to argue with, but that's what this page is about, is to prevent or help others against meth. This is not something you want to have to experience yourself. I promise.

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