Speak Up

Some people write stories. Others take photos or paint. Share your message about Meth and join the conversation. Click UPLOAD TO GALLERY to submit your work.

Back to Gallery

are you my mother?

"Who is this woman?" That's the question that I ask myself more and more. When I was growing up it was only my mother and I. She was educated, held a good job, but she had a bad side. She would fly off the handle at me. Break dishes, cuss at me, and say things to me that a mother should never even think of uttering to their daughter. She would check the driveway for footprints. Put a strand of hair in her door to see if it had been opened. Accused me of things I never even knew occurred. She stayed up all night rearranging furniture. But she had pretty teeth, she didn't have holes in her face. I was young, the obvious signs weren't there. But I found a meth pipe and bags in her room. I got emotional, she called the police on me, I told them what I found. They didn't care, they didn't search, they didn't believe. We were a white family in a nice neighborhood. They thought I was just mad at my mom for grounding me. I hated her. I hated me. I went to prison when I was 16, and stayed until I was 20. When I began to get to know her again, she was sketchy. She stays gone all of the time. I do not hear from her for days. She gets angry when I ask where she is, where she's been. I found bags with meth residue in them. Found out she lies to me all the time. She treats me like I'm shit when she's around long enough to pretend to care. But sometimes she loves me. I love her too. She was recently arrested by the Federal Government for Trafficking a ton (2,000 lbs.) of marijuana. Or "Conspiracy to possess 200 lbs." like she says. It makes no difference. I don't want her to go to prison. But I do. She needs a wake up call. She used to have her life somewhat together. And only used me to take her rage out on. Now she's gone insane. Her boyfriend has been arrested several times for beating her, and manufacturing meth. I have never and will never touch it. I want my mom back. I hate the person she is now. Meth has made her unrecognizable to me. She has certain twitches, like humming very deeply while doing tasks. Although, her teeth are still perfect, and she doesn't have any sores. I don't know why that is. I don't know why she commands respect when she behaves like she is owed none. I hate the way this world is. I know she's so much better than this.

blog comments powered by Disqus
See Related Content