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Riding with the monster

I was 12 years old when I first rode with the monster (smoked meth) I grew up in a drug-ridden home. I was a straight A student all my life, until I was sexually assaulted. My life was slowly depleting. One night at my weakest I found the comfort of meth. It was a whole new world, I was unstoppable. All the pain and hurt was gone and I wasn't in touch with my past. Everything was fine for the first few times, then I overdosed. I was sweaty and vomiting. I had black outs and I didn't know what to do. That's when the monster grabbed me the tightest. I was done for. I started stealing from stores, my father, breaking into houses, and taking from dope dealers. I was 13 years old when I was exposed to the life of prostitution. I met this guy and I thought he cared for me. I was in a daze. It felt as if he cared for me and valued me as a human being, boy was I wrong. One night we needed money to get high, and I was the easiest resource. Another girl and I were taken to an apartment building where an older male of about 60 years or so was staying. That was the first time I realized I was nothing. We continued going to other apartment buildings or waiting in front of the house we were staying at to receive money for sex. My using continued into my freshman year of high school. I rarely showed up and when I did I was higher than cloud 9. I finally reached my breaking point a week before my 14th birthday. I remember it being a Tuesday night when I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I took two bottles of pills without even blinking and laid down to die. My mother found me lying on the floor choking on my own blood and having soiled myself. I was taken to the hospital and they only suspected drug overdose, so the hospital kept me for a few hours until I was stable and sent me. I couldn't continue to live that way so here I am today. I am 16 years old with 31 months sober. I am a Certified Nursing Aide and a junior in high school. Today I'm alive. I didn't let the monster kill me like so many others.

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