Speak Up

My dad is on meth. I don't know where he is right now or if he's even alive. I'm away at college right now in Kentucky. I desperately want to go back home and find him. My mom has been dealing with his struggle. He's always had addiction problems, but it was usually with OxyContin or some painkiller/anxiety medication. He's also recently had a problem with alcohol and pot. I thought for the most part he was okay though. Maintained a job and started to seem alright. Then my mom started calling me saying she thought my dad was becoming unstable. I'd just visited them over break and he'd seemed okay though. Paranoid, yes. But not crazy. Yeah, his behavior was sometimes chaotic and reckless, beyond disrespectful. But I'd always figured that was just him. He'd always had a big mouth and an attitude. My mom had to call the cops a few days ago because he got so bad. He'd just gotten fired. After, he started harassing his boss for money he owed him. Sent him over 50 texts and called him multiple times. Even his boss thought he was out of his mind because of his chaotic behavior at work. Laughing inappropriately, saying things that made no sense, doing everything wrong. My mom was becoming concerned because he began having insane paranoid episodes, thinking EVERYONE was against him and that he was being watched, he would watch TV and start babbling about conspiracies. He thought even me, his daughter, had turned on him. That everyone who’d always tried to protect him and help him was against him. My mother kept telling him to get help and he wouldn’t. He began acting violent and unpredictable. One night he came out of his room and started banging on the walls, hid in the bathroom yelling about ‘voices’. She tried to get in, he slammed her against the laundry room sliding door which popped out of the hinges. She called the police. They tried talking to him, but he was high and had a 12-pack of beer in him. She didn’t tell them to make him leave then. Instead she waited until the next day and got a restraining order, changed the locks. He’d left earlier that day, didn’t even return anyway. I’ve stayed in touch with one of the sheriffs. He’d said my dad had come in, no clue why though, must have been to explain himself for his behavior when they were called. They’d told him about the restraining order, so he hadn’t come back. Right now I’m trying to find out where he is. No one has heard from him or seen him. My mom went through his room and found some small bags that had white residue in them, along with a pipe and some straws that had been cut. I’d had no clue you could snort meth, but after some research online I found that you can. It would also explain all of his behavior. The paranoia, the erratic behavior, recklessness, desperation for money, twitchiness, sudden teeth/gum infections when he’d never had dental problems. His money always disappeared into thin air. He’d been pawning things as well. I reported to the police that he’s been using meth, after meeting him that night, they were concerned with his violent behavior. He’s yet to be served the official restraining order papers for the police aren’t able to serve those themselves. They merely told him. And since finding out about his mental state and meth addiction, they’ve been looking for him. But he’s nowhere to be found. I’ve been trying to track my father down, but it seems like no one has seen him. None of his friends will return my calls, probably because they’re involved somehow with the addiction. I’m bothered because I’m so far and can’t personally try to find him there. I want to go back and personally comb Bozeman for him. I’m worried about my dad. We’ve always been so close despite everything. He’s one of my best friends. I love him so much and all I want is to know he’s okay and get him help. He hasn’t even tried to contact me. I’m scared of what may happen to him or what he may do to himself.