Speak Up

this was me four months ago. i had only been doing meth for five months, i weighed 95 pounds, im 5'11". i left my son at three months and disappeared meth took ahold of my life and my world, i lost everything time and again, my identity, my fiance, my house, our car. it didnt change anything. i did things i never even knew i could, i was breaking into homes, stealing laptops from my fathers business and trading them for 20$ dollars worth of glass. I was saved one day by the police. and a manager of the gas station. he had watched me day after day slowly deteriate. the cops swarmed the circle k and i said fuck off and that was the day my life began to change, i spent a month in jail. ill never forget the morning i woke up and ate my first meal, and showered after almost three months straight. i looked into a mirror and fell to my knees and begged god to hold me, i couldnt believe what i had become. after i was released i saw my son who was now crawling and laughing and playing, ill never forget the look in his eyes when he realized momma was home. i started shooting up again not long after i was released nothing could beat this, and i left again, but took my son. when i couldnt afford his food my mom came back for him, i promised him i would never leave him again, and i failed him. i'll never forget that night because his father was dying in my arms screaming for Gods mercy i watched his eyes roll back and his seizures stopped and he slept for hours... then went and got more meth. then tried killing me the next morning. ive only been clean for three weeks. but i have never felt such a rush in my life, i moved to MI the end of november i couldnt escape my addiction or my ex. i cried and cried and cried for help finally God carried me. i'll never go back. i will be part of that 1% that make it through their addiction. i will be there to help the others so they never ever have to face or feel the pain i have felt. stay stong guys. it will get better.