Speak Up

It all happened so fast. I was an independent women with two jobs, a house,two vehicles, three beautiful children and a wonderful fiance. Than suddenly one day it all disappeared behind the face of the devil. I was 20 years old when I first tried Meth for the first time. I wasn't even 21 by the time everything was destroyed. How could anyone know that a white crystal looking substance can change your life for the worst in an heartbeat. At first I was smoking it, than it came to be very intense as soon as I started to shoot it right into my veins. I lost everything, My kids is the only thing I didn't want to loose, but the devil made the impossible possible. I became clean for nine months to fight for my kids back, I didn't touch any drugs any alcohol not even any asprin or cold medicine. I was determined to get my children back. I was doing all I needed to do to have my children back into my custody, than all of the sudden the state of Utah decides that they don't want me to have my children even if I worked my ass off to succeed. Having all hope lost and everyone I loved out of my life, I relapse. Two and a half months I was back on the devil's drug. July 16th of 2011 I just walked away, haven't and will not touch it ever again. My children are still not in my custody. It hurts alot to see everything and all the relationships I have destroyed because I was following the Devils footsteps. I don't need rehab I don't need counseling. The thing that make's me stay clean is the possibly of ever being in my children's life again, hoping that one day my mother will forgive me and be proud of who her daughter is, My family seeing who their daughter, sister, grand daughter, cousin, aunt, niece had overcame a struggle. I have a passion now to be a speaker to young adults or anyone who is struggling with this drug. I don't want anyone to see the Devil I have faced. No one deserves that. I just want to apologize to MY CHILDREN, MY MOTHER, MY FIANCE, MY SISTER, MY GRAND PARENTS, MY AUNTS, MY UNCLES, MY COUSINS, MY NEPHEWS, AND MOST OF ALL EVERYONE WHO I DESTROYED IN MY PATH OF DESTRUCTION.