Speak Up

I'm 18 and a college student. I start using meth when i was 16. Yes, it's very addictive, and I am so obsessed on it, it gives me a lot of pleasure. But I can manage to control myself from graving for it. Just like when I don't have enough money or when my friends wasn't able to lend me money,then i just let it pass. I'll just wait for another day which I can able to get some. I never attempt to steal nor sell some of my things just for it. Neither I never use sex for it. I am addicted to meth but I still on my limitation. And It's a good thing that I had my friends who brings me meth for free. we love meth so bad yet we love each other more. We love using meth together. We smoked it, snorted it and sometimes injected it. We do it for satisfaction. It gives us an advantage of being more active, an advantage of doing different activities without getting tired at all. We give and take. That's I can't see why some users let it ruined them, let it damaged them. Because they're so high? Because they're sleepless? I did use meth for 2weeks straight and stay up for more. But still I manage to control or avoid having those negative effects like ANGRY OUTBURST, PSYCHOTIC BEHAVIOR, PARANOIA, UNHEALTHY WEIGHT LOSS, UGLY CHANGES IN PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC. Instead I came to be more nice and sweet, dressed up and hang out and had fun, I did lose appetite but I still maintain to eat even twice a day, I borrowed money from my closest friends yet i pay within a week and i also puts more attention/care to my appearance,I became more hotter they say. There's a lot of changes on me when i started on meth though. But not in a ugly ways. Meth makes me so talkative, but my friends don't have a problem with that and so my families, they like me even more for they find me hilarious for my words. :) I also did experience hallucinations sometimes when I'm alone, seeing and hearing things. But i just keep on ignoring it and put my attention to somethings that will entertain me. Like turned the music on louder, and fit every dress in my cabinet, and wear some makeup and record myself modeling.:) And I admit that those crank bugs were real, but not totally real. I often experienced it and it's creepy I know, It's like there's a bug crawling in my skin, and it felt so real and i just realized that my fingers were picking at it alone. so I managed to pay attention to it cause I'm afraid of having scars. I cut my nails for assurance.
I love meth and i love myself too. It's been 3years since i started using meth and i'm still on it. I believe that it depends on the users on what they want to get from meth. Meth can maybe damaged our brain, but we can manage our mind.