Speak Up

My first time was not my choice. When I was high I'd see this little girl whenever I was up too long and it was scary because I kept thinking, that's me. I literally had been knocked out and woke to a needle coming out of my arm. My mother owed money to this disgusting mafia junkie and that's where it ended, in her hands. My mom got snitched on and thrown in jail. She took it to herself to involve me because I never once wanted to do it watching tweekers for two and a half years. I was mind f#%^ed by them raping me with toys on camera to sell them. It was bad experience and I never said a word about what happened for six months then they found videos on there STOLEN camera chip and asked me wtf. I was scared bc they had me at gun point mouthing at me to like it. I tried to not cry and finally I was so scared I starting acting like I did. I never quit trying drugs and using after that until eight months ago. Now I'm pregnant with a fiance who is in jail and we lost literally everything but not because of meth and honestly I think its all karma for how I use to be because I did relapse recently and am so pissed. I'm better then that so I'm choosing to do what I can to prove to myself I am done with that devil. I hate him. I've never came to tell the world my story but at 18, I'm finally comfortable telling you. Support is the best and God is real.