Speak Up

Since I was 4 years old, my dad has been with the same woman. He has loved her dearly, no matter has happened. They fell in love the moment they met and he swears the connection was just undeniable. Now me on the other hand, well we didn't get along very well. She was too jealous for my dad's attention and never really treated me fairly. Eventually they had two kids together, my brother and sister. She was a decent mother. The house was kept clean and she would cook them lunch and what-not. When I was about 15, my dad started working out of town and he would come home on weekends. I lived with my mom, so I wasn't really around. Well whenever my dad came back one weekend, they decided they were going to start doing meth. My father's intentions weren't bad..he wanted to be less tired so he could spend more time with them. Her excuse I will never know. At this time, I had no knowledge of any of it.. I just knew my dad hadn't been being much of a father to me and I heard less and less of him. He ended up losing his job and they were living off of unemployment and church donations. Shortly after she got really angry at him, and she stabbed him with a knife in the arm. Whenever the ambulance came he didn't tell them she did it. (Big mistake.) A while later, he finally realized what he was doing. He packed up and went to stay with his mom, no more using. He asked her many times to let him take the kids but that was her leverage against him. He got a job and started making good money again, and all she ever did was keep asking for money claiming the kids needed it for food or clothes. Eventually the kids went to stay with her mother and she was going around with a friend stealing from houses and parts off of cars for money. My dad was sending money occasionally for the kids but he wanted more than anything for them to be with him. At this point he still loves her and wants to work it out, and he knows that bringing her there is the only way to get the kids. So, he has her come up during summer and bring them. Now, my grandma was not to have a woman as crazy as her staying there so my dad took his camper to a camp ground and they all stayed there. He was so happy and so were the kids. But she was still being crazy and money hungry. He told her he wanted her to leave and she said not without her kids, like she was even taking care of them. They ended up leaving but then coming back, and my grandma said if she stayed clean she could stay there. Now, I honestly couldn't tell you if she was while she was there, but she was definitely still acting psychotic. My father works on powerlines, and when there are storms up north, he has to leave to fix them. Well, when he left she decided she didn't need to take care of the kids so she left them at my grandma's.Then, when he came back with the fat paycheck there she was again, and begging him to go buy her meth, and he refused. He left for storm again, and again, she left as well. This time when he came back, he didn't tell her and he found his own place, and then she was back again. She ended up having him put in jail for domestic violence and they could no longer have contact but she was staying in his house... Currently he's still dealing with the charges against him, but she was put in jail and now has a no trespassing warrant, and is living on the streets with her meth. The only reason this breaks my heart, is because I know my dad still cares and now there are two kids who barely have anything of a mother left. The only one who truly feels for her anymore is her 7 year old daughter, and it breaks my heart to see. I thought she had already hit rock bottom but it seems to be a bottomless pit. Meth destroyed what was once a happy functioning family. I will never forgive the drug, but I hope one day I can forgiver her.