Speak Up

Im alex, im 18. I was too young to realize why my mom would always leave us, then come back, then leave, and come back again. I was always happy when i did get to see her, but now it's happiness and sadness in one emotion. My mom has been doing meth for as long as i could remember. Its was a struggle for her everyday to pick between her kids, or meth. my sisters and i were never happy with her decision, and my sisters will forever hold a grudge on her, but that last string of hope is left on me. Every few days my mom will call and i have to pretend like she's telling me the truth. she always in some city I've never heard of with some people ive never met. she tells me shes doing better (as in no meth) but i can tell just by her voice that shes lying to me. i know its the drug telling me all those lies, but i just cant seem to confront her about it because i know it would leave us on bad terms. i dont want to wake up one morning to someone telling me my mother died of an overdose, so I'm stuck, being her support, being the person that doesnt judge her for everything she does, and i hope everyday, that she will go through with being sober for her kids.

My bestfriend. Shes exactly like me in every way, but i can see something changing in her. She had a previous boyfriend who she had tried meth with, and i just remember feeling kind of torn. She knew how i felt about it, but she still managed to let her exboyfriend convince her to do it. Just a few days ago, she told me that she had tried meth again. I didnt know what to think or say because i knew it was all going to go downhill from here. since shes tried meth again, she said its a constant battle for her. She said the little voice in her head is telling to to go smoke meth again. I try my bet to explain to her that its not worth it and it will just lead her into a world shes doesnt want to go into, but she just says "i feel so bad right now, i would do meth in front of you, just to get the high." i was in complete shock, i have never seen her like this before, and it just shows how powerful the drug can be.

i dont want to lose my mom, or my best friend to meth. But everyday, meth is coming into my life without me even doing it. i feel stuck.