Speak Up

I have been around meth my whole life my parents were addicts. even at a young age i knew what was going on around me. my mom and dad fought over it and all i could do is watch over my little sister although we never went without we lost allot of our childhood to it. my parents left each other over it and my dad became out of the picture my mom was a drug dealer most of my life although i was completely oblivious until the day one of her customers slipped. after that i knew why she never had to leave for work like anybody else parents. i did not complain or even ask about it because me and my sister were cared for. She was the only thing on my mind. i tried to be the best big brother i could be because our parents weren't the best they could be. My mom always moved allot and we hardly ever stayed int he same school for more than a few months. she eventually got to big and was busted we moved into my dads place after that. thats when i first saw the drug that had put my mom away for years. i walked into his room one night and he had the urniquet on his bicep and the needle in his engorged vein. i ran out after seeing that and called my grandma. we were gone the next day. we lived with her for a while and i missed my mom i started smoking bud around that time and i really enjoyed it . when my mom came out of jail she was a whole different person she was clean. she eventually met a good guy and we moved into a small town closer to the border of the state. i made allot of friends instantly because of my habits. Thats when the ball started rolling, i started drinking and popping pills heavily wondering just how much i could rake to see if i would get to the "next level". I don't know why i started all of this either it be the encouragement from friends or availability of the drugs themselves. i started partying and getting smashed even on school nights. I was invited to a friend of mines family reunion and that's when i met the devil. She was beautiful and seductive and most persuasive. she lived in the same town i saw her around and one day she asked me to come over. curious to why this beautiful older women wanted me to come over i slipped out that night and went to her house. her face lit up when i appeared at her door and then a seductive gaze ensued she then pulled out a small Pyrex and asked me if i wanted a hit. Unknowingly i took the hit and smoked more and more. we made love that night for hours and she invited me back over. again and again we did this until one night it all changed. I came over for our usual ritual but instead of a Pyrex she had a small insulin needle in her hand. she asked me if i wanted a shot. i was leery at first but her honey coated words soon had my sleeve pulled up and the needle in my arm and suddenly i was not myself anymore i was Rico suave and could talk about anything and it would make complete sense. we made love like none other that night and continued for about a month one night i guess i was to hasty to slip out of my home late at night and my sister followed me. she waited until i came back out that night stinking of dope and sweat and she asked me what i was doing. I couldn't handle it i ran. she told my mom and she knew instantly i was using. she saw the track marks on my arm and broke down.. i couldn't handle the situation and went and got high. my sister hated me after that..I started to not care about anything but the devil and her dope. But i found out i was not the only one that made visit to my mistress and i had the strongest homicidal urges in my life. I controlled them and continued to go to her house anyway. until she got my friends to start using. day by day i watched them descend into the depth that i was now drowning in. I decided to confront the devil about what she was doing and how it was wrong. that's when i found out that the devil did not care about me or anything neither did the product she sold. I have been 3 months clean and am still trying to to rebuild bridges.