Speak Up

It was 3:30 on Wednesday morning also known as payday. I had just finished my job doing nightfill. I was exhausted, my at the time boyfriend... kinda, picked me up and took me back to the local p pad. I guess thats what you could call it. On the drive he asked to borrow some money, since it was payday and he gets paid on Friday I had no problem with it. Asked him to buy me ciggies aswell... "It'll keep you awake babe, just try it" didnt take much convincing cause I had always wanted to know what it was like. Felt great after the first couple of puffs, then it was gone. Did I need more? No. My boyfriend did on the other hand. I wasted all my hard earned money on feeding his addiction.I have a raging marijuana addiction, which is expensive enough, I dont need to be smoking this even more expensive drug. It felt good to keep him happy though, we ended up smoking it together regularly, we wouldnt have argements unless it was about crack. It made me feel different, mixed up all my emotions, I know I need help. It really fucks with you, your mind, your body, your skin everything, I had been awake for 5 days straight and was stating to question what was real. It wasnt until I returned home today to my mums was curious to knw if there were others out there feeling like this. My ex is still addicted and it hurts me to see it. But I need to make sure Im not addicted before I go trying to solve other peoples problems. Im never gonna touch the stuff again.