Speak Up

Meth really screwed up my life. It has been several years since my last time I had gone off the deep end and OD'ed on it. I fell in love with the drug, but now nothing in my life is normal. I want to have a normal life now. I am terrified now of the fact that I can feel anything anymore. It has made me numb. When I first stopped using because I was so disgusted with myself, I couldn't think clearly. I lost my ability to be around normal people and became homeless. I got clean by myself because I was afraid of what others would think about me, and I still worry about it to this day. I know I am an addict because I can't say no to it. So I run from it. I stopped buying it, and I cut my connections. I think I have made a clean break, but I know my will is weak. I did some really stupid things on meth. All I want to do is to forget it, but I can't. It haunts me to this day. I dream of the day that I can put it behind me, but I am terrified that my life will never be normal again.