Speak Up

2 years ago today, my son was arrested for manufacturing a controlled substance '"meth". I can honestly say it has been the longest and hardest 2 years of my life! 2 weeks after he was arrested we were allowed to put him in a treatment center. It seems as if it was really helping, I had alot of hope at this point. He attended outpatient and weekly N/A meetings after he was released. He was able to watch the birth of his first child. I have so many emotions going through my head right now, that I'm not sure where to begin. The obstacles, and journey our whole family has been through. My son started experiencing alot of obstacles himself, about 6 months into being clean. His girlfriend couldn't take what it took for him to be clean, because he needed the counseling and N/A. He was trying to hold a full time job, do the requirements for drug court, take care of his son, and the list goes on. He just couldn't figure out how to deal with "life on life's terms". So he did the worst, and resorted back to the Meth. He was then sentenced to 120 days shock treatment in the Dept of Corrections. I believe this was the most wasted time. It didn't help, as a matter of fact when he got out, he was picked up again within 30 days. This time for possesion charges. I don't know how long he will serve now, because I don't understand how they do it in our court system. I was so mad at him this time. I watched alot of families leave their addict, and I never did! I didn't understand how he could do this. But one difference this time you ask? I started getting educated on Meth. I started trying to learn how this could happen to our family? Somedays I could feel so crazy just trying to think about it! Then, I became involved with Mothers Against Meth. It was time I started trying to take care of me. I started by attending meetings. Then, I was asked to speak at a Victim's Panel not far from here. When I got done I had the whole room crying, not because that's what I wanted but because I had told my story. You see, none of us have a good story, our outcomes, or what we go through might be different, but we are all the same. My views are different now, I don't think prison is where my son belongs, nor any other meth addict. I believe there is recovery, but I don't believe prison is the answer. I am not a magical person that can accomplish this but I'm going to try. The longer my son is clean I see his brain begin to slowly heal, and become reasonable again, but what effect will prison have on this? I believe that Meth is a devil drug. I wish I could find a way to get it off the streets. I have recently taken an Executive Director position in Missouri, We have only 1 chapter within our state. I am going on a mission now, though I know it won't be easy, I want to go across the state and start to educate communities, schools, families on what Meth does to the addict and our families. Within the last 2 years our family has had shattered relationships that are going to take time to rebuild. We have lost a grandson who is getting ready to turn 2. Nothing about this drug is fair! Not to our families or the addict. There is a just for today that is probably my most favorite "Just for today, I will pack my bags and move towards a future filled with hope." My hope is for the addict and all our family to try and start mending, and healing towards a better tomorrow! And...start remembering that God doesn't give us more than we can handle!