Speak Up

im 35. elia is 10. shes my little sister. we never were really close until we had to be. i remember the day that maggie's brain could barely keep up with the lies that were pouring out of her mouth. it was sad cause i knew immediately that something was wrong. the sores on her face that she tried to cover with cheap makeup, the crazy hairstyle that obviously occured in the middle of being "spun", the lack of her normal cleanliness, and her inability to stand still for our 5 minute conversation. "dad, something is wrong with maggie, i think shes on something." having someone older understand how drugs work now-a-days is a tough conversation but having to tell a 10 year old that her mother has picked drugs over her....impossible. when cps picked up the case all the truth came out. nights of no sleep, calling the cops cause of delusional paranoia, random people around, no light or water in the house, no food for my sisters, no rules, no more hugs, no more kisses, no more love, just maggie and meth. FUCK YOU METH! SHE'S 10!! SHE CANT COMPETE WITH YOU!!!! i dont understand why shes having to. maggie went to rehab. elia got to spend 1 night a week with maggie....until she couldnt. meth came back into our lives. it took less than 6 months for maggie to relapse. it took elia 1 conversation to start shutting down. now shes back at my house. her anxiety level is up and her behavior has changed. there is an empty sadness even when she plays. i never thought that i would be fighting something as big as this monster. i dont think that im winning and i know i never can but i do know that...ELIA, I LOVE YOU. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO FIGHT THIS. YOUR MOTHER IS SICK. I WILL BE HERE TILL THE END. DONT BE AFRAID CAUSE IM RIGHT HERE HOLDING YOUR HAND. JUST REMEMBER, IF YOU NEED ME, BIG SISTER IS HERE.