Speak Up

I am 22 years old. I grew up around my dad being a heavy coke user. He did anything for cocaine. He messed up mine and my brothers lives. To this day i can not forget or forgive him for what he has done to me and my brother.

But how is that any different then what i have done?

If your wondering what i mean by that. I am addicted to pills. Mainly Anti- Anxiety pills or painkillers. I also smoke weed. But Ill choose buying pills over weed anyday. I started out before college my jr year in high school. Not sure what got me into pills it happen to fast to even know what will happen.

While in college i got into them worse. I had a dealer who asked me "have you ever tried adderall?" Adderall is a ADHD/ADD pill. he had sold the adderall pills that were 30 mg orange pills. I told him i have not tried them and he and i did them. The first time doing them i did 16 pills within 3 days. I soon after that got with the guy. Was not the best choice i made but i did it anyway. I am not a very outgoing person i pretty much keep to myself and i guess adderall and pills in general helped me get out of my cave i dug myself into.

Anyways... We had been dating for three months. Doing drugs everyday not a day that went by we were not high. Lots of people would tell me Adderall was meth in a pill. Legal meth. So i asked him to get me some meth i wanted to try it. Well he called up his buddy and next i knew i was in a basement with his friend and his mom smoking on a pipe full of dope. And Im too much like my father i love to smoke things so that is where i liked it the most. Then we bought some. Around 100 dollars worth of dope. I did it another time with this old guy and my boyfriend. Only because they were working and needed to keep going but too tired for it. it was not much.

My final and last time was just a month ago. It was by myself. My boyfriend got sent to prison for 3 years. (not for meth) I was really upset about something i am not even sure what it was. I just remembering going to meet the guy for 25 dollars worth of dope. I thought to myself why are you doing this your stupid. I was looking every where for cops for people looking. I then went home and snorted it. It burned so bad. But the more i snorted it did not burn anymore. I was up for 4 days. 3 days high and 1 day coming down. I felt like i was dying for some reason. The worse come down in the world. I did not like it at all. I never got what people said when they said "Meth is gross" it is gross.

I am very lucky I never got addicted to it or i think i might be on the streets doing anything for my high. To this day i can turn down glass. My will power is i do not want to end up like my father. He gave up his own family for cocaine. I dont want to give up anything for any drugs. I would tell you this yes the high off meth is amazing feel so great. but so not worth it. You can loose everything for it. I lost my dad to coke. I dont want to loose myself for that amazing feeling of meth. It hurt growing up knowing you had to try to win this war with coke. I lost. But i won with meth!

Just say no.