Speak Up

It no longer tears through my insides.
Rushing,
Speeding,
Spinning with delight

Been at it for days
I can't feel my face
My chest is empty
Head is pounding
My body aches.
can't move my bones
Why did choose this road?
It gets me everytime
Chases me down
Forces me to flee
I gain power
My stomach is weak
Do I need to eat?
Why can't I stay away?
This must be a curse.
I think I make myself worse
I fought knowing you for so long.
I try to hide you from the world.
Your back
Stronger than before.
I fought you every day.
I imagine my last time with you.
They told me I wouldn't have another chance
If I went back out they would never let me go.

I didnt want to say goodbye.
I wanted one last high.

I can feel it
My head is floating
My body weeps
Tingling through me
There is no other feeling.
The warmth hits my lungs
I rock back and forth
The smoke surrounds me
What have I done?

I cry out for someone to hear
I feel Jesus is near.
He puts his hand on my heart
Silences my fear
Lord please forgive me?!
I fail you in every way
Still you save me from my childish ways.