Speak Up

You think you're invincible to addiction, I thought that too, well you're f****** not. You think, alright, just once. No, there is no just once. Meth will literally take every single thing you once deemed important away, and you won't even care because at that point, the only thing that's important is meth. Every problem you have now will rapidly multiply with no end, and the only adequate solution is more meth. I started using meth when I was sixteen, my first time was about four months ago. I'm seventeen now, moved out of my parents house into a different city with an unlimited supply of meth. No job, no car, no diploma, no license. I have nothing, except my (also user) boyfriend, the convenience of the dope man on my street, and meth. Not only do I live with the constant guilt of being a drug addict at such an early age, but I couldn't fathom how disappointed my family and old friends would be of me. I was a junkie before meth. My boyfriend however, was an ex addict. I wanted to try meth so bad that I got him to use again just for my selfish needs. So now, we're sitting in our room, high on meth, have been awake for going on four days, and I'm personally waiting on my next chance to hit the bowl. The urge NEVER leaves, and enough is never enough. When we come down, we will fight and scream and threaten each other. Does that mean we have a bad relationship? Absolutely not. However, meth will ALSO destroy your marriage or relationship, and it if doesn't, you're extremely fortunate. Meth changes the person you are over a course of time. My boyfriend telling me after just a few weeks of using, that I've already began to change, absolutely crushed my heart. The morals, opinions, priorities, and interests are completely different when you are on meth. The people you love and who love you could do terrible things to you, or vise versa, solely because you thought you could just try meth once. A personal experience of mine, was being raped and abused by my unconditionally loving and caring boyfriend, all because we were coming off dope. You would think that I would hate the thing that caused me to be raped right? You're correct. But that doesn't even matter. Meth does YOU and will take your SOUL. Not a day goes by that I don't go back to the night I was raped, and try to stop it from happening. I constantly relive just laying there wondering what I ever did that was so wrong. And you will too.