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i miss you

When I found the love of my life, I knew he was messed up on drugs but I was too young and stupid to care. I loved him. After we started dating (and he had gotten himself clean) he later let me know that he used to binge on meth. He told me he didn't like it but he used to brag about the crazy things he did when he was spun. I dated this guy for a while and he always had anger issues and he was very manipulative and we had a very unhealthy relationship. My point here is after we broke up the first time he blamed me when he relapsed. He had let someone shoot him up and claimed that his druggie friend "saved his life" yet he always screamed how he wanted to die so bad. After a second, very violent, break up he relapsed a second time and hasn't stopped getting high since. I hear awful things about him around town, about his addiction and the people he hurts... He's turned into a lifeless corpse. He is a monster. I want him clean, and free of this filth. I tried everything I could to keep his mind on bigger and better things and he did so good until Meth stole him away from me and I am so angry, and hurt, and sad. He has lost everything. I miss him so bad but I have to stay away from him and move on. I wish I could have him back by my side like the good times. But he's gone... You cannot drag a blood thirsty zombie with a thousand pounds of baggage down a billion mile road without getting eaten alive! I hope one day I'll hear of your victory. Until then my lover, you will not see me smiling back at you.

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