Speak Up

As a product of an environment riddled with drugs and alcohol I became aware of the damaging effects of meth at a very young age.by some miracle I stayed free of the drug for many years. i was that wife who had dinner on table everynight,home was never less than immaculate,devoted and nurturing stay at home mommy whos life revolved around her children and husbands needs,i was that happy,loving person that everyone loved to be around and came to for support . that was all very rewarding but it started to take its toll since i had been doing it since the young age of 14 when i had my first precious baby.i say all that to remind the readers that this evil drug can and with NO DOUBT take control under the least expected and least of the "at risk" homes .then at the age of 28 I found myself in the throws of meth addiction.i knew very quickly that the weekend use with a cousin had gotten a tight grip on me. at first it was given to me without my knowledge in a bottle of water but was my choice to try it again, thinking I could manage and restrict my use to when I needed to have extra energy to do some spring cleaning or extra yard work or paint the house.it was only a few months into my addiction that I become so dependent upon the drug that I would find myself stealing and lying to support my habbit.it controlled my whole life,my emotions,eating habbits,relationships and finances.i no longer found joy in anything but a good bag of dope.i could no longer function without it.my health, feelings as well as my moral code of conduct had been stripped away by my awful desire to feed my habbit. I no longer lived with integrity or dignity. i became very depressed, ashamed and guilty witch continued to fuel the ache and relationship with the drug.my best friend was my glass pipe and my dealer whom would feed right into my guilt trips and would give me free dope,it was a match made right in the pits of HELL.i spent so much time locked in my bathroom that my children would no longer knock at the door they would just go about their lives.( so incredibly sad)there was seldom a shortage but in the event I couldn't get my daily dose I couldn't even get out of bed and when I did I was raging.i would pretend to have migraines so to play off the coming down symptoms.even though I realized I had become my mother whom I fought so hard to be opposite of i was to ashamed and scared of what would happen to my poor children to ask for help.i spiraled into an oblivion the winter of 2008,my marriage was a signature away from divorce,in the event of divorce my children would have chosen to live with their father.i hated myself for causing so much pain. I did something I had never done before...i called on GOD to pick me up out of the dirty pit of sin I was being held captive in,and by HIS grace and mercy in the spring of 2009 I asked for help and received more love and support than I could ever imagine I would get..i am blessed and grateful to say that today I am over 4 years clean,still married,have 4 amazing grandchildren,great relationships with my children and have the most fulfilling joy filled life ever imaginable through CHRIST JESUS MY SAVIOR!!I have become the person GOD intended me to be.i went from being A SLAVE to meth to serving GOD.i am now a worship and womans ministry leader and my husband and i are conn.ministry leaders at our church.there is hope for recovery and a life of freedom and forgivness through JESUS CHRIST.i am grateful to say I am an overcomer,that I continue to claim victory upon victory and that my family continues the healing process.i pray that my familys testimony will impact others.encourage one another,lift one another up in prayer and share your stories,we never know when it will help change a life.thank you for taking the time to read my story and please share the good news of HOPE,FORGIVNESS AND LIFE after meth,may GOD bless you all.